Stern Words!

I'm sure its happened to the best of us. Your child, though smart sometimes, gets lazy in school and brings home bad grades. I say lazy because in any other circumstance that would benefit them they would mastermind any situation. This story starts with the call all parents dream of. "Mom, I got my report card."
Bad sign already. Not "I have great news!" or "Guess what?". It's "I got my report card."
Of course my response is "Really?" "So?" and then there's the sigh. I think it must of been mutual from the lapse in silence. "I got all B's and C's in the grades but I got two D's and and F on midterms." My mind said "WHAT!" but I quickly composed myself and asked God for some help.
In the past I've have been the strong arm of punishment. For Pete's sake I've punished this kid! I've taken away electronics, TV, phone use and privileges. I even cut her hair one time, made her breakup with her "boyfriend" and took away all her makeup. I thought for a moment, took a breath and then said this "Well.. you know what you have to do right? Because I don't believe that you need me to get all crazy right?" "No mom." she said.
My daughter, the smart one I referred to in the beginning had a plan. "I'm gonna start tutoring twice a week for math" she said. "Ah ha?" I replied. "And?" I continued. "No phone, no computer, no going out. I know. I know. " "Great" I said. "You have until you get your next interim report." She wasn't pleased in the least but at least I didn't have to raise my blood pressure.
Kids are funny sometimes. Parents know what to expect from their kids (I did see her slacking while she should have been studying) and kids well, they know whats coming to them (she told me at the end of the day when I was drained).
I can vividly remember knowing exactly what was going to through my father over the deep end. I also remember bracing myself for that punishment and when it didn't come I thought "Oh..oh..okay." I didn't know what to expect. Was he going catch me while I was sleeping or had I just disappointed him so much that he just stop caring?
I reflected on my past experiences and decided I'd try something new. She was punished passively and while she goes through her punishment I will encourage her and not harass her. I guess we'll see if this angle works in time.
If doesn't work we can always go back to "crazy". Hey, it works for some. :)